Of Kids, Dogs, Mummies, and Daddies
by Hime D
Summary: Tino is trying to clear up a certain misunderstanding. "Peter seems to be pretty convinced that I am your wife. Maybe you should explain the joke to him?"


* * * * * * *

"Mummy!"

Tino winced. The sudden urge to throw himself against a wall or maybe drown himself into the full sink in front of him was a bit overwhelming. He turned around and forced himself to smile at Berwald's recently adopted son, Peter, who just came barging into the kitchen with Flower-Egg.

"Peter-poika," he chided the boy. "Don't run around in the house."

"Okay!" The boy skidded into a halt, Flower-Egg crashing into his legs. He picked the dog up and pointed a finger at its nose.

"Mummy said no running," he told the dog gravely. The dog barked and wagged its tail.

Tino found the water in front of him very very tempting.

Exhaling slowly, he finished the last of the plates and put it on the drying rack. Wiping his hands on the apron he wore, he turned to Peter. "Did you have fun with Flower-Egg in the park?"

"Yeah! Raivis was there too! He said hi! Oh, and the English bastard too!"

"Language, young man," Tino chided the boy as he went to the fridge to get some milk. Pouring the milk into a glass, he put it in front of the boy before pouring some in Flower-Egg's dish. Boy and dog immediately attacked their milk, while Tino opened the cupboard to get some biskuits.

"Mummy?"

Tino winced. With a strained smile, he turned to the boy. "What is it?"

Peter tilted his head. "Why do you look uncomfortable everytime I call you?"

"Do I?" Well, at least somebody in the house did know how to read the atmosphere.

"Yeah," the boy said.

Tino put the biscuits in front of the boy and went across the kitchen to the coffee maker to pour himself a cup. "Well, I guess I am not used to be called 'Mummy'."

"Then you'd better get used to it," Peter asserted. "You're Berwald's wife, and Berwald's is my new daddy, so you are my new mummy."

Tino resisted the urge to throw his coffee across the room. "I'm not your daddy's wife, dear."

Peter tilted his head to the other side. ""Why not?"

Tino went to the table and sat next to Peter. "Why do you think I am?"

Peter stared at him with his big blue eyes. "You live with him, right?"

"In a way, yes." Seeing that despite he had his own land, being at Berwald's was more... fun. And it was somehow pointless to build his own house when Berwald had built this one for the two of them anyway.

"You cook and eat with him, right?"

"We all do, yes."

"You go to sauna with him, right?"

"Not all the time, yes. But you can come too if you want."

"You sleep in the same room with him, right?"

More like he let Berwald sleeping in his room because the Swede gave his own to Peter. "Well, yes."

"You get buggered by him, right?"

It was rather unfortunate that the question was thrown at him right when he was sipping his coffee, because it made the coffee go up to his nostrils instead of the intended throat.

"Peter!" Tino exclaimed after the coughing subsided.

But Peter didn't look fazed at all. Rather, he looked at him with the utmost curiousity in his face, demanding him to answer his question.

"Peter," Tino glared half-heartedly at the boy. "I'm not going to answer that."

"Aww." The boy pouted. "But! But! Daddy said you're his wife!"

Ah, that old joke. How many centuries needed to pass until Berwald would get tired of it?

Fortunately, little boys were easily distracted, and the distraction came in the form of his loyal dog Flower-Egg. The dog suddenly barked and pulled at the end of Peter's pants.

"Flower-Egg!" the boy exclaimed, then jump off from his seat. He ran after the dog, leaving Tino and his half-finished milk.

Good timing.

Tino sighed heavily before pushing himself up and walked toward the backyard.

He'd better have a little talk with Berwald.

* * *

It happened to be laundry day today, so Berwald was out in the yard, taking down the dried laundries to be ironed and folded inside.

Approaching his housemate, Tino took a deep breath. "Umm, Berwald?"

As expected, Berwald turned his head toward him, and as expected, with the way the shadow always seemed to be darkening his face, he looked as scary as fuck!

Tino lifted a palm and waved it, as if it could preserve the distance between him and the Swede. "Ni- nice weather, don't you think?"

Berwald nodded, then turned away, returning to tackle their laundries.

Arrgh, this was proving to be more difficult than he had thought.

"Say, Berwald?"

"Nn?"

"Peter seems to be pretty convinced that I am your wife. Maybe you should explain the joke to him?"

"Wha' joke?"

...Well, it there was anything about the Swede that hadn't changed at all even after centuries, was the fact that he seemed to have not consider the wife thing as a joke.

"Err, Berwald? It would be very nice if you could stop that, really. I mean, now Peter thinks that I'm his new mother or something, and while that would be an honor, though I'm not sure that I would be a good one, aside from the fact that I happen to be male, but anyway, it would be nice if---"

Without turning away from the sheets he was tackling, Berwald said, "Yer d' best m'ther Pe'er c'd get."

Tino blinked.

Then slowly, he felt heat spreading from his cheeks, to his ears and neck.

"Oh. I... Umm...."

Berwald obliviously continued to pull at the sheets, one by one. Tino struggled to find an answer to the Swede's remark, before finally, at lost at what to say, he just said, "You think so?"

Berwald nodded.

Tino didn't know whether to feel happy or insulted that Berwald thought that he would be a good mother. But on the other hand, the Swede didn't go around complimenting just anyone.

"C'ffee?" Suddenly the man asked.

Tino glanced at the man. Then lowered his eyes. "It's ready in the kitchen."

He could feel Berwald nodding.

"I'll... I'll get some for us," Tino offered.

"Thanks."

Tino glanced at the man again. Then before he even realized it, he had reached out and wrapped his hands around the Swede's torso, pulling him close ever so lightly. Then turned a hundred eighty degree before dashing back into the house.

Okay, so he was happy with the compliment. Big deal. But he still had to clear up this misunderstanding because he was totally not Berwald's wife, and he was totally not Peter's mother.

But maybe he could just tell him that another day.

* * * * * * *

AN:

- No matter how badly I want to make Finland call Sweden "Suu-san", I just can't do it. It's totally not English! But I can't have Finland calling Sweden "Sweden." So at the end, human names we use. *sighs* (How would Finland call him anyway? 'Sve'? 'Herr Sve?' .....'Rakkaani'? 'Godis'? :P

- I can't remember how Sealand call Sweden in the canon (aside from 'my prince'), so I took a page from England's vocabs.

- There is a pic for this, actually. You can find it here: http:// pics. livejournal. com/ hime1999/ pic/ 001702yr (erase the spaces)


End file.
